Prerequisites of being a dashing MAN (in my book at least)

Effortlessly go from a negative 2 to an 8.

OWN IT:

1. Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. I don’t know what these sunglasses do, but they have powers. Smoke a cigarette while wearing the glasses too. CHA-CHING. 
2. Tight pants. I do not need to explain further.
3.  A decent gym outfit, none of those free giveaway t-shirts count.
4. A suit jacket that you don’t look like you're drowning in.
5. Loafers loafers loafers. And please, when I say loafers, I mean nice loafers. Gucci preferably. It's like magic on your feet. You stress out your feet enough, so why not have your feet enjoy the feel of Gucci’s Italian buttery leather. And please, no obnoxious white socks with loafers. But i’m sure you knew that already. 

Things to dispose of. If you already own them, then please torch them, I beg of you: 

1. UGLY SHOES: I cannot even begin to stress the importance of this. It's all about the shoes.
2. Semi-nice shoes. This shows that you care about your shoes and that you are trying, but your really don’t know what nice shoes are. 
3. Washed out black and navy cotton sweaters. Nasty. I'd rather see you in something out of Ferris Beuller’s closet. 
4. T-shirts that have some fake university name slapped across the front. Ditch that.
5. An old pleather black belt thats shedding flakes of pleather near the buckle. IT'S REPULSIVE.
Oh, one more thing. Don’t wear light wash jeans with fugly black leather dress shoes. None of that. And spare us, no more than 2-3 sprays of your gross cologne.