Underwear Goes Inside the Pants.

As the summer came to an end...so did, you know, radiant tanned skin, daily removal of hair, and day drinking. I'm all like yeah! its time for school again. "I get to go back to my life of running away from people on the LIRR, going into H&M three times a day, and straight up just chillin'." This September...unfortunately that didn't go down. For a majority of the normal folk, being a recent college graduate is the time of your life when mommy and daddy are not going to continuously throw cash in your unemployed face so you can go out to dinner with your girlfriends. No it's just not. Shit happens. However, unless you're a bank and enjoy lunching everyday at prissy lunch places with fake people... you must land yourself a real job with a desk and stare at manilla folders and your germy phone all day. Well, I hate desks, I hate anything Staples related, and above all I hate women who wear work pants. I especially hate when those women feel the need to wear white geriatric sneakers with their heinous work wants during their commute. It's just gross.
Anyways, this post is not going to be about my cry to rewind back to yesteryear, it's concerning some babble that I myself find to be wicked awesome. European people.

One fine evening in Chinatown while waiting for my friends to finish dancing with each other at a nightclub, I caught something with my eye...a European male. Well, he was straight, ravishingly handsome, holding a cigarette and dressed all hunky-dory. Obviously I was like HELLO, and I pounced on him like a vulture and bombarded him with questions. Meet Pierre. I started humiliating myself, once again, with my photography. I don't know why I regularly photograph well dressed strangers, but I just do. Turn's out this dapper and adventurous French individual was wearing shoes by Dries van Noten. HOT much? I think yes.

Un

Deux 

Trois- Call me maybe?

Va va voom.

Not my number one choice of male footwear, but none the less still noteworthy and pleasing. Let me put this in all you well groomed males cerebral cortex's...SHOES are the most focal part of your daily getup. Hey, you can wear a polyester - nylon blend ensemble,  just shell out your dollars on those overpriced shoes. Stop being practical and just do it...it's more economical than your children's college funds, trust me. Oh, one more thing before I let you go...Kenneth Cole "Reaction" does not count as nice. My reaction will be throw up. 'Nuff said.

Sleep with one eye open.

"I WANT TO PERSONALLY COME TO YOUR HOUSE, THROW PIPING HOT ROCKS AT YOUR FACE, POUR ICE COLD WATER ON YOU, TAKE ALL YOUR CLEAN LAUNDRY AND BURN IT, BLAST YOUR AC AND DEMOLISH ALL YOUR BLANKETS, PUT LAXATIVES IN YOUR FOOD, AND JOYFULLY TORCH YOUR POWER LINES." These are just some of my hopes and aspirations that come to my mind, or whats left of it at least, when I visualize ever coming in contact with the management of LIPA. I take great pleasure in introducing you all to Michael D. Hervey, CEO and terrorist of LIPA.

You look like vermin. 

Now, this lame brained douche lord above, rolling around in dollar bills while we have all reached new levels of insanity, is the equivalence of crap. Lie after lie, he tells his shitty PR people to post lame brained Facebook statuses to shut us all up. SHOVE IT. You're all full of shit, lazy and fat. In the beginning of this catastrophe known as Sandy, the folk of Long Island and I were like "OK yea it will take a few days, its OK, people in other places got it worse than us, and at least were alive BLAH BLAH BLAH". NO. Now, on day 12, you seriously need to be arrested Mr. Hervey. I highly suggest resigning, and moving to a far far away place and never return. As a matter of fact, you should disappear. 

If you ever come in contact with this post,  Mr. Hervey, I would really be delighted if you take time to get a feel for the past of 12 days. 

 

I've been homeless, hypothermic, frigid and insane. 

I give you one more day. Do something, Mr. Hervey. 

P.S: If you ever need to use the bathroom in Great Neck, come to my home, I have an array of frigid toilet seat cover for you to enjoy.